When you were a little younger, prom seemed like it would be so cool.

Magical, even.

Admit it. After you watched High School Musical 3, you pictured yourself dancing and singing in perfect unison with your whole senior class.

Prom is a beautiful thing—in theory. But now the movies are on the shelf, your own prom is reality, and it’s looking you square in the dateless face. Suddenly prom seems less magical, and more like just another way for high school to torture you. The closer it gets, the more overwhelming the prospect becomes—and expensive, too.

If you’ve decided to go to prom, one of two factors is likely the reason—either you’re holding out for that magical night (or at the very least, a fun memory), or you’re going because someone else really wants you to—probably your mom. Your whole “Prom-is-stupid-and-a-waste-of-money-and-I-won’t-have-fun” speech didn’t get you very far. Plus, you’re tired of hearing her say that one day when you’re older, you’re really going to regret not going.

In either case, you’re going to the prom, and you need help. So, how does a Christian teen not just survive prom, but also make good memories without spending his or her entire college savings? Maybe these tips will help!

Tip #1: The invite

You’re almost afraid to get on Instagram. If you do, you know you’re going to see pictures of girls getting asked to prom in way-over-the-top fashion. Like guys who have the school mascot hold up a sign that reads, Emily, will you go to prom with me? during the seventh inning stretch at the varsity baseball game. Five cupcakes of different flavors delivered on one knee in the school lunchroom, each with a letter on top spelling out the big question: PROM? Seriously, what are these people going to do when it’s time to propose marriage one day?

And what are you going to do now? How do you even compete with that?

You don’t. There’s no need to hire a pilot to write your prom invitation in the sky or surprise your intended date with a picnic in the woods with a prom ticket hidden in his or her chicken sandwich. Guys, let the competitors go on competing without you, and save your best stuff for the girl you’ll ask a far more important question of one day. As long as you ask well in advance and speak with confident sincerity, you should be good to go.

P.S. Don’t ask her via text!

04-15-07 © Mary Morgan

Tip #2: The outfit

After you move past the urge to wear a bright orange tuxedo like the one Lloyd wore in Dumb and Dumber, the choices are pretty easy if you’re a guy.

But, ladies, dress shopping is different. Way different. The thought of showing up in the same dress as someone else is horrifying, and you don’t want to spend a fortune. That basically leaves you with a few options: buy the expensive dress, look for a good deal, let your mom make your dress, or borrow one from someone your size who graduated recently.  Now, let’s be honest, the likelihood of your mom having the skill set to pull off dressmaking to the extent that you don’t have a massive fight ending in tears is slim. Good deals on dresses can be hard to find, especially if you didn’t start looking early enough.

So, that leaves you with one inexpensive option if you’re in a time crunch: borrow. It’s not that hard. Put Facebook to good use. Look up some girls you know who graduated in the past few years and creep on their prom pictures. Then, ask them if you can borrow a dress, and voilá, problem solved!

And there’s a bonus, too: you’ll help your friend feel better about the money she spent on that dress that she’ll never wear again.

Tip #3: The ride

This part is tricky. If it’s just you and your date riding together in your car, you risk awkwardness and boredom. If you go with a big group in a party bus, you risk paying for the consequences of someone else’s bad choices.
On prom night, you need to be able to trust your whole group. Your best option, then, is to go with one or two other couples. If you feel the need to travel like J. Biebs in a limo, then go with no more than 8-10 people you know well and split the cost.

Tip #4: The before plan

You’ll probably be expected to go eat somewhere before you hit the dance floor. Still, there are some great options that lie somewhere between Long John Silver’s and the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town. You don’t need a menu that you’d need a degree in culinary arts to understand. You do need good ambience and food—and prices that fall in the range of normalcy that you’re used to.

Make reservations. No one wants to be sitting around waiting an hour for a table when their friends are already dancing the night away.

Tip #5: The after plan

This may be unpopular, but here’s a thought—you could go home after prom, and get a good night’s rest before church the next morning. There, I said it.

But since I know you think that plan stinks, here’s some alternate advice on the after-prom plan: have one. Know where you’re going and who you’ll be with. Do NOT go to a hotel or someone’s boat on the lake; those are bad ideas no matter how logical they seem when your friends describe them to you. If you just have to go to someone’s house after prom, make sure it’s someone you trust, that your parents know about the plan, and that some adults will be there, too.

If that’s not an option, see if your parents will let you have a small after-prom get-together at your house. Think one-last-youth-group-lock-in. Drink sodas, play games, watch movies. Most of all, honor Jesus.
Your mom may have been wrong about other stuff, but she’s right about this; you don’t want to regret prom night when you’re older.

This article was written for the April 2013 issue of ec by Cynthia Hopkins. Get your subscription here: www.lifeway.com/ec.

05-15-08 © Andrejs Zemdega

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.”
—Philippians 4:8

Purity can be defined as freedom from contaminants. It can also be defined as innocence.

Dwelling on purity means that you focus on purity, that you let your mind linger on it. It means that for a definite majority of your time, your thoughts are directed toward purity. Your focus isn’t keeping the rules or not doing something. Instead, you choose to center your life around what is pure, true, genuine, righteous, and good. So, how do you do that? Let’s take a look at three areas that will help you pursue purity in all areas of your life.

Avoid Contamination

Have you ever gotten a cup and discovered that it wasn’t quite clean? Ever opened a gallon of milk that smelled sour? What did you do? You probably didn’t gulp down the sour milk or drink from a dirty glass. They weren’t clean or pure; they were contaminated. To avoid the contamination, you probably threw the milk out or picked another, cleaner glass.

As careful as we are with contaminants entering our bodies, many of us have trouble filtering the contaminants that can enter our minds. Think about the movies or television shows you watch. What kind of things do you allow to enter into your mind? How are the lyrics to the music on your playlist? What kind of sites are you viewing on the Internet? How about your interactions on social media? Can these things be described as true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, or commendable?

Establish Boundaries

The scene is set. The prom is over, the car is comfy, and the two of you are alone. What next? Do you go to that secluded place you know, choose to hang out with friends, or simply call it a night? This decision can change the course of your life.

The point is that in the heat of the moment, it is easy to choose the wrong path impulsively. If you have established boundaries beforehand, and adhere to them, you will save yourself from making a tragic mistake.

That truth doesn’t just apply to sexual situations, but to other areas of your life, as well. Purity isn’t just about sex; it’s a way of thinking that affects every part of your life. So, setting boundaries concerning what you will do with friends, what behaviors you expect of yourself, and even what level of honesty and dependability you desire of your reputation will free you from making split-second decisions that have negative consequences.

Take time to think about what boundaries you need to establish in all areas of your life and stick with them. Do you have boundaries in dating? What about negative or destructive behaviors? Do you set boundaries considering how you treat or talk about others? Establishing boundaries may not sound like fun, but the standards you hold can prevent you from making choices that result in negative consequences.

Embrace Structure

Structure . . . who wants structure? Isn’t this the time in your life for fun?

No one enjoys having schedules and rules forced upon them, but some structure in your life is good. Structure requires self-discipline. No one can do it for you. So, embrace structure and take time to regularly fill your mind with good things. Spend time in God’s Word, learning about the honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and morally excellent things God has outlined there. Join together with like-minded believers by going to church and helping one another learn, grow, and truly live the Christian life! Spend time with God in prayer, bringing your concerns to Him and listening for Him to answer, as well.

Purity isn’t about what you do or don’t do. It’s a state of mind, a way of life. Pursuing purity means that you’re focusing your mind and every part of your life on what God says is good and right for you. So, avoid contamination, establish boundaries, and embrace structure. These three changes will help you dwell upon whatever is pure.

You can start today by choosing to shut out the contaminants in your life, writing down boundaries you need in your life, getting real concerning your church and your youth group, and beginning a regular time to meet with God in Bible study and prayer.

This article is excerpted from “Whatever Is Pure” by Kevin Garrett in the April 2013 issue of ec. You can get your subscription here: www.lifeway.com/ec.